Speaking Up and Speaking Out

I am speaking out against abuse and encouraging others to do the same. Despite moments of fear and feelings of guilt, it is necessary to uphold the truth and shine a light on the darkness. Calling out an abuser doesn’t mean you’re still hurting; it means you now have the strength and courage to speak the truth. It also means you’re using your anger positively. Anger is a good thing. Even Jesus got angry.

In my research and development of positive anger, two of the six pillars are protection and motivation. Positive anger motivates us to take action against further abuse to protect others. When we cultivate positive anger, we're using mindful anger—our conscious thinking brain—rather than operating in primal anger or our emotional, unconscious brain. Positive anger is protective, motivating, and resilient; it transforms, calms, and strengthens relationships. By understanding and harnessing positive anger, we can turn a powerful emotion into a force for good.

When someone has hurt you, don’t react in the moment. It’s understandable to want to seek revenge, but bad fruit will fall on its own. Even though I don’t want others to eat their poison fruit and succumb to their darkness, aggressive patience is required. Give yourself time to heal and work on strengthening your values and needs. If you need to call out abusers, only do it when you've learned to love yourself better and have strengthened your inner core beliefs. This may take time.

Calling out those who’ve hurt you does not mean you’re unforgiving, even though others may perceive it that way. Remember, unforgiveness only hurts you as it festers into resentment. Instead, work on cultivating love, and when the time is right, it will be time for tough love for them. Calling out those who’ve hurt you gives them the opportunity to look at their own behaviour and make positive changes within themselves.

But know this: most won’t accept they’ve done anything wrong and will say you’re just bitter and need to get over it. That is only their own shadow projected onto you. You can’t make them acknowledge what they’ve done. But you can highlight their behaviour to others, so others are equipped and informed before they engage in any relationship with them.

This is about protection, not slander or punishment. By standing up and speaking out, you’re using your positive anger to create a safer environment for others. You’re motivated by the desire to prevent further harm and protect those who might be vulnerable. That’s the true power of positive anger.

It’s also important to acknowledge that calling out abusers can cause feelings of guilt, because deep down, you don’t want them to feel hurt either. This internal conflict is natural, and highlights the good within you, but remember that your primary goal is protection and positive change, not retribution. If you speak the truth, then everything good will come together.